RNA Conference 2012 Kitchen Report – The Romaniac Kitchen, Penrith

It was the first conference for most of The Romaniacs and with seven out of nine of us attending, we already knew we were going to have one heck of a kitchen party. We had our own karaoke backing track system, lead vocals by Laura  James, plenty of wine, several bottles of champagne and Catherine Miller brought some very special Morello Cherry homemade wine, circa 1975, courtesy of her late Grandad. Celia Anderson made some delicious cakes.  Oh, and in true student style, Lucie Wheeler provided the Super Noodles.

It could only have been better if our lovely Jan Brigden and Liz Crump had been there.

To sum up our kitchen party, we thought we’d share a page from our Visitors’ Book …

Friday, 13 July 2012

Dear Kitchen, Thank you for helping me rediscover the joy singing can bring. And also the pain. Love, Laura.

Nikki Goodman : Ah, how will I ever forget the Romaniacs’ kitchen? There was wine (some of it homemade vintage circa ’75 that threatened toxic shock syndrome), there were snacks and there was singing! Best of all was the laughter.  A kitchen beyond all compare.

What goes on in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen. Except when it’s videoed and put on Facebook and You Tube. (Laura)

They say the kitchen is always the hub of the party, and in this case, it most certainly was! (Lucie)

THIS is what Romantic Novelists look like! (Debbie White)

Jane Holland : Those three glasses of 1975 Morello Cherry homemade wine will stay with me for life.

The Romaniacs needed a good get together and what better way than to do it with friends. That and alcohol which could change the way you see the world. That’s why at the time we were all singing like angels. (Catherine)

Sue Moorcroft : That was a great night! The homemade wine from 1975 scared me a bit but when I offered to buy some ‘real’ wine, the soothing, ‘Oh, we’ve got some of that if you want it,’ made me feel like a lightweight. The Romaniacs were fantastic company, every one of them. I just hope I’m invited to their kitchen parties in the future. Xxx

We may have had a naughty kitchen, but it wasn’t dirty, having been sterilised with alcohol. (Laura)

Ever since joining the RNA, I’ve aspired to the heady heights of having one of the Naughty Kitchens at a conference.  And now, thanks to some wonderful company, a lot of alcohol and loud singing, I think I can say I’ve done it – and got the YouTube evidence to prove it. (Vanessa)

Mandy James : My accommodation was next to the Romaniacs’. How did I know? The raucous caterwauling and shrieks of laughter gave it away.

I left my quieter party and went to investigate … they wouldn’t let me leave, even though I insisted I didn’t want a drink or to sing at the top of my lungs. But eventually I had a small sherry … When in Rome-aniacs … see what I did there?

Two hours later the police came to close us down. Well, OK, a slight exaggeration, there was only one arrest. We had an amazing time and I recommend that the naughty kitchen be free on the NHS!

When I found out we were in student accommodation, I decided that I needed use this opportunity as research (I got that tip from Jane Wenham-Jones) and what better way than to fully immerse myself into student life. What a kitchen party that was. Sadly, any further attempt at emulating a student ended on Sunday - even now I am still trying to recover from the weekend. (Sue)

The kitchen party was to the Romaniacs and their guests what opium was to great authors of the past – inspirational, but painful the next day. (Celia)

A messy kitchen is the sign of a happy kitchen, and ours was delirious. (Debbie)

It was always going to be the Romaniacs’ kitchen. (Laura)

THINGS WE LEARNED...RNA CONFERENCE 2012

Things we learned on the Roadtrip to the RNA Conference

By Ruth Long, Denise Deegan, Jane Travers & Sally Clements

Ferry companies should not have a staircase reminiscent of the Titanic on their ships, nor should they show documentaries about exploring shipwrecks. Or have safety videos that seem to have been made by the same people as Money for Nothing by Dire Straits.

It is possible to eat your body weight in free mini pastries on the ferry.

Four Irish women in a car soon revert to stereotypes of parents & kids.

Wales does not exist in the rain. It is all grey. And invisible.

While some people discuss folklore, mythology and legends in the front of the car, some people throw jelly babies about in the back.

It is possible to eat your body weight in jelly babies.

The magic of an RNA conference means the moment we reached the Lake District the sun came out. And it was GORGEOUS.

Ruth and Jane work well together as navigator and driver, right up until the moment they arrive at the campus when they promptly argue about which entrance to use. They were both right!

Our reputations preceded us. (Oops! Blame Twitter. And the Roadtrip)

Do not mention anything unmentionable to Jane Lovering just before she gives a speech (Kate Johnson).

On Friday night we were the quiet kitchen. This had to be amended.

Ruth still believes we were the quiet kitchen on Friday night. Shh, don't tell.

The Sun always Shines on TV, and at an RNA conference. (Well, not always, but more than for the rest of the summer)

We don’t want another 50 shades of Grey conversation.

We are easily confused/bewildered/amused.

Jane Lovering can bring Jane Travers to the verge of an athsma attack in under a minute.

Ms Alison Maynard has a little cup.

On Saturday night we were NOT the quiet kitchen.

It is possible to drink your own body weight in wine. Though perhaps not wise.

It may not be possible to get up the next morning. Not all the way up.

There is a beautiful garden in Newton Rigg. With WICKERMEN in it. It is probably best that we didn’t discover this until we were about to go and were under time constraints.

Be careful when purchasing pasties. Very careful.

Wales is pretty in sunshine. And there. Which was nice as that’s where we were getting our ferry from. Phew.

No one is allowed to say “Nothing can go wrong now” until all the way home. ALL THE WAY HOME. And then some.

It is possible to eat your body weight in free cheese and crackers on the ferry.

The RNA Conference itself... we learned SO MUCH. And were awed by the kindness, generosity, friendliness and intelligence of everyone there. Thank you all so much. We will be back. (If this sounds like a threat... oops).

Juliet Greenwood Shares a Haven of Peace at the RNA Conf12

‘Have you seen the gardens?’ This was the question that passed me by several times before I finally followed directions through the Newton Rigg campus to this place that so many people were raving about. 

You see, I’d been so excited about going to my first RNA conference in years - and having decidedly second thoughts on the wisdom of actually leading one of the sessions - that I hadn’t looked closely at the Newton Rigg campus. Apart from actually finding it on Google Maps, that is. So it wasn’t until I made my way through a little green gate that it finally twigged that this was a horticultural college. And that the gardens were truly something special. 

On the other side of the gate lay beautifully kept lawns with swaths of meadow flowers and cottage-garden borders on either side. Ponds of all shapes and sizes, with clear water and water lilies in bloom, appeared between the beds. Further in, there were polytunnels crammed with healthy-looking flowers and vegetables that put my own poor version at home to shame. Cages enclosed blackcurrants and redcurrants, keeping them safe from human as well as animal temptation – including some very sleek-looking rabbits that kept on appearing on the lawns. And as for the herb spiral – I’ve been trying to make one out of stone, but this one was encased in metal, with herbs growing round the central spiral to a great height. I was left with a severe case of herb-spiral envy. 

The gardens weren’t just beautiful and practical, they were fun, too. A large willow figure fished in one of the ponds, while two others played badminton amongst the greenery. 
On the last afternoon of the Conference, I made my way back to the gardens to sit and absorb the weekend. It was a perfect place to contemplate. Green and peaceful. 

I have wonderfully happy memories of the RNA conference in Penrith. I came back refreshed and inspired and with renewed enthusiasm. And the college’s lovely gardens are definitely a part of that inspiration, too. 

I’ll be back ……

Juliet latest book...

2010 - Carys aggrees, with mixed feelings, to look after her mother after a fall. Once home she is haunted by old memories of a childhood sweetheart. How will she feel when they meet again? 1895 - Ann , destitute, stands on London bridge. She remembers her last visit to London, a spoilt aristocratic bride, sure of the power of her youth and beauty. Now the river seems like her only option...A powerful tale of two women struggling with love, family duty, long-buried secrets and their own creative ambitions. Can Carys follow the clues left by Ann and find her true path?

High Heels and Hangovers...Rebecca Leith talks about RNA Conf12 Gala

For many of us Saturday night at the annual RNA conference is all about shoes. This year was no exception.

After a day of interesting, informative and humorous talks and workshops, it was time to get glammed up for the Gala Dinner. I left my room in full control of my footwear and went off in search of friends, and wine, in the bar. 

It’s a long-standing joke that we’re often reduced to peering at the boobs of others – not because we’re interested in their cleavage – but in an effort to read their name badges. So much of our communication is done by e-mail or on social networking sites, we have to peer to make sure we’ve got the right person to fling our arms round before letting them know how wonderful it is to meet them in the real world.

In future I’m going to wear my badge on my back. People can then happily confirm it’s me – with the added bonus of being able to walk away if they don’t want to talk to me, as I’m not the cyber friend they thought I was. Nothing worse than, as is my case, myopically peering at someone’s name only to find it’s a case of mistaken identity.

Along with the conversation at the dinner the wine flows. In the past I have abandoned my killer heels, flinging them over my shoulder as I’ve surrendered in the battle of the bunions to walk bare foot back to my room.

The worse case scenario is being seduced by one of the many kitchen parties. The pain of the bunions forgotten as yet more wine flows. Walking home in killer heels should be policed – with friends removing your shoes if they deem you unfit to be in possession them. I’m amazed I haven’t been involved in multiple pile ups at various campuses around the UK as I’ve tottered home, arm in arm with new friends and old, all thinking we’re totally in control of our heels.

Then, of course, the next day there’s the hangover. Help is on hand to remedy this with housemates sharing alka seltzer, copious amounts of water and breakfast being provided by the venue.  It’s a time to share the woes of others – and join in hunt for much loved and admired shoes that, in a moment of euphoria at having pitched successfully to an agent or publisher, were thrown in the air in celebration to end up hanging in a tree or buried in a bush.

But it isn’t really all about heels and hangovers.  It’s about friendship, fun and learning.  It’s also an opportunity to celebrate our love for the RNA and what this wonderful organisation means to us.

PS I must add I got off lightly this year.  I walked back to my room in perfect control of my footwear, didn’t get lost and didn’t wake with a hangover!

Alison Maynard on the RNA Conference 2012 Gala Dinner

The social side of the RNA conference is a big part of the appeal. We go to learn. We go to get updates on industry trends, but we also go to relax and spend time with like-minded people who will admire our pretty shoes. For those of us married to sensible engineers, any comment on our shoes that doesn’t start, “Don’t you already have some like that?” is particularly appreciated.

Saturday night’s Gala dinner is the big opportunity to glam up, get your tanned bits out (fake-tanned this year obviously), drink some wine, eat some food and just have fun. For me, this year’s Gala dinner turned into a particularly fabulous night, because my short story, Feel the Fear, was announced as the winner of the Elizabeth Goudge Trophy. I started hyperventilating as soon as my story was announced as one of the top three. Fortunately, the people on my table were kind enough to remind me to breathe, and I was able to collect the award without fainting in amazement or falling off my heels.

The night after that is a cheery blur. There were lots of congratulations. There was quiet marvelling at the names, the proper grown-up writer names, already engraved on the Elizabeth Goudge cup. There was at least one moment of being made (forced, absolutely and completely against my will) to drink champagne. There was discussion about whether the champagne would taste better if I drank it out of the Elizabeth Goudge cup. But more than anything else there were new friends, genuinely chuffed to be there for someone else’s happy moment, with no jealousy or resentment, but lots of laughs and encouragement and pretty pretty shoes.

Editor Note: I couldn't resist posting these photos of Alison...her delight should be bottled!

RNA Conference 2012 - Penrith Prep by Laura James

The Penrith Prep.

I’m a firm believer in preparation – it complements my liking for order.

For those familiar with Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, I know precisely where my towel is and never travel without it.

I am taking a pink one to Penrith.

I also carry a sick bowl in the car at all times.

Just so you know.

Since I have a predilection for prepping, I have spent the last few weeks getting organised for my first RNA Conference – I have written and entered my story for the Elizabeth Goudge Trophy, tackled a synopsis, pinned it to a first chapter and sent it to Jan Jones, and visited several BIG shops in search of the Gala Dinner dress.

I engaged Gajitman (my husband) in planning the route from Weymouth to Bristol to Birmingham to Penrith, working out times and places from where I can collect random Romaniacs, (it will be Thelma, Thelma, Louise and Louise in my red car – shades and headscarves at the ready, girls), and most importantly, I have chosen which pens and notebooks to take with me.

It will be a week of many firsts: first Conference, first one-to-one with an editor, first student flat-share and first glass of wine.

I do believe I have just told my first story about Conference.

I’m very much looking forward to seeing everyone – travel safely and enjoy the weekend. Hoot three times if you see a red Scenic on the M6 with two Thelmas

 and twin Louises. But not if we’re near a cliff.

Laura x

Katherine Garbera's Five Top Tips For Conference Survival

Top Five Tips for Conference Survival

1.      Be Professional:  Kind seems like this shouldn't have to be said, but it doesn't hurt to remember you are at the conference to make contacts and conduct business.  That means that even though everyone is hanging out in the bar at night, you shouldn't forget that a future contact might be there as well and see you.

2.      Keep Calm.  Its easy to think that if you blow one editor/agent pitch meeting that the world might end and you'll never sell, but that's not true. After my very editor pitch I was shaking so hard I could barely walk from the room but that didn't matter once I got home and submitted my manuscript.

3.      Make new friends:  This is hard for me since I'm inherently shy and have a hard time talking to people I don't know.  I've come up with a few standard questions that help me to get the ball rolling. 

a.       What do you write?

b.      How long have you been writing?

c.       Tell me about the manuscript/book you are working on?

4.      Don't Panic: This is my rule for two different types of workshops.

a.       Craft workshops:  More than once I'm sitting in a workshop and I hear the presenter say something about the craft of writing that isn't my process and I'll have that bit of doubt in the back of my mind, should I change my process so I'll be successful like this person?  The answer is no.  And if you are in a workshop like this that is making you panic/doubt your own process I recommend leaving.  Everyone writes differently and your process works for you!

b.      Industry Trends:  Since I started writing (way back in '93) the BLANK market has been dying.  I am serious when I say that at every conference I've been too someone has said what I'm writing is dying and that they won't be publishing it a year later.  I just ignore this stuff for the most part because of something that very wise editor said to me one time (the late Kate Duffy) publishers are always going to be buying good fiction. 

5.      Enjoy Yourself:  Its easy to get caught up in making as many contacts as you can and keeping your mind on business, but writing is a very solitary endeavor and you should use the conference as a chance to relax and enjoy talking about what you love to do with others who are like-minded.

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